Monday, March 17, 2014

On Being a Mom

This Mom thing is bittersweet. 
My old life where I knew who I was and where I belonged is gone.
 In its place is a new strange thing that is now my life.
 In the beginning I felt nothing like myself, I really struggled with that. 
My husband was my saving grace during this time.
I was reading all the books and blogs on how to be a good Mommy, do this- don't do that, and I just felt pressure to be the "right kind of mom". 
I struggled with taking time for myself and had this inner war dialogue over every single decision I made throughout the day. 
As I started to settle into my new role, I realized that this is my family and the way my son remembers me is up to me. 
A frazzled women who only has dreams in the past is not what my son will know me as. 
 I am learning everyday that I am more than I thought I was. 
I can be the kind of Mom I want to be and still feel like me. 
 My son is my new world and I think I am learning how to be a good mom and feel like a better version of myself one day at a time. 

And you know what, thats good for me and my son. 

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